i have this routine for writing. i sit down, throw on some music come up with a title. it’s all very third grade… “oh hey ms. winston gave us a creative writing assignment!” and it works. usually. now, as i say this, i look back and i realize that the last time i wrote was over a year ago. so that’s no longer an effective modus operandi for me. so i’m going to word vomit for a few minutes and just let you into a little slice of my life.
my whole life i have enjoyed writing. but only when it’s writing for something that is personal and tethered to my soul. i’ve written in journals, written letters, written books. i actually am combining all of those in a cute little lined journal that i write to my nephew in. true story. almost 3 years ago, the day he was born i bought a journal and started writing letters to him. you see, we aren’t guaranteed anything in this life. everyone knows that… it’s a cliche. so i guess that’s why i write it all down. i know that he knows he’s loved but one day i hope he’ll be able to look back by reading it all as it unfolded and get more than just the specific “i love you” and understand the why… the little tiny things like the little squeaky noise he used to make when he was hungry all the way to the big monumental things like the first time he said “i love you” back… those things that are little and big and all the infinite sizes in between that comprise a depth of feeling that is both not at all and yet entirely covered by the words “i love you.”
so what have i been up to the past year you might ask? well, i shall enlighten you…
i work. a lot.
it’s cool. it’s vastly entertaining… i’ve learned a whole slew of curse words in spanish, i can cook… and not the kind of cooking where you’re chillin in your house trying out a new recipe. no, the kind of cooking where you have 10 steaks and 7 chickens on the grill, all cooked to different temperatures (remember when outback introduced the concept of “slightly more medium” or whatever ridiculous coinage they have dubbed their multi-differentiated steak temperatures. guess what outback… now EVERYONE thinks that is ok.
wow i’ve learned so many things this year. i’ve learned what i can and can’t handle and now to spot the difference between the two. i’ve learned that yes, there is a marked difference between caring about someone and caring for someone (hint… i ain’t your mama, i don’t have to care for you… you’re a big boy/girl). i’ve also learned to light fryers and flat tops and grills (oh my) withOUT burning off my eyebrows. i’ve learned that i have so MUCH more to learn and see and do in this world. and what was i thinking that i could do it all behind a desk and in heels?
and i’ve learned that i can rock purple hair.