holy zumba batman!

most people i know have heard of zumba. many of them have done zumba. a few of them do zumba on a regular basis. until yesterday, i fell into the first category. you see, the thing is… shhh, don’t spill my secret… i’m really not coordinated. i can walk across a flat ground with nothing in my way and fall down. i have bruises and have no idea where they came from. add to that… i have no rhythm. for reals. none.

in fact, when i was a sophomore in college, we had to learn a dance. it was for the student government associateion lip sync contest. i had to learn a dance that involved the shag, the salsa, and the hand jive. now. it’s not simply that i have no rhythm, it’s also that my un-rhythyms in the upper and lower half of my body are completely different. so, this dance was about 5 minutes long. no big right? even i should be able to do that right?

wrong.

it took 2.5 weeks of practice, almost every day after class, for HOURS before i got my feet in the right place at the right time. even then they put me in the back because i still was pretty terrible. remember in the old cartoons where the coyote would put one foot where it was supposed to be and the rest of him followed? yeah, not so much for me. my center of balance doesn’t allow for that. eh.

SO zumba. my dear friend ashley has been trying to get me to do this with her for weeks. she loves it. naturally, i have been super hesitant because, for those of you that don’t know, zumba is a mixture of fast paced dances (latin, indian, hip hop, you name it…) and aerobics moves, neither of which my body is balanced for. funny thing is i can ski with balance and a semblance of grace. maybe my feet are just too small and if they were bigger it wouldn’t be so hard. meh.

i arrive at class and i’m immediately relieved to see a couple of people who not only i know, but feel completely comfy enough in front of to make an absolute fool out of myself and be ok with it. once i signed a waiver promising not to sue if my own clumsiness turned out to be my downfall (i know… right? it’s like she saw me coming) class started.

after the first two songs, the instructor says “ok great warm-up!” ahem. i looked at ash and was like ???? that’s a warmup? now don’t get me wrong. i regularly use the elliptical and work-out pretty hard on it, i ski, i hike, i run, i walk… but this was different.

i can promise this though, once you get through the first few songs, it does get easier. just like runners high, if you can get over the hurdle… you’ll be fine.

an hour very quickly passed. i have never smiled so much while exercising. for reals! it was FUN. and best of all? even though i definitely didn’t nail every (or even most) moves,

i. didn’t. fall. down.

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happy national singles awareness day!

i know that i post a lot of things on here pertaining to my current single lady status, but it’s part of who i am. it dictates the plans i make (never spend new years eve with a group of couples… or at least disappear for the countdown to midnight) and the events i participate in. it doesn’t define me, but it is part of my definition.

valentines day in fact originated based on the legend of saint valentine who, for some reason, is quite a mystery. there are multiple legends surrounding the figure, one of which is that he was martyred for performing marriage ceremonies to people (soldiers etc.) who were not given the right to marry. if this is the case… hm. now is not the time for a social rant.

anyhoo. so the celebration of a saint has evolved into a widely recognized celebration of romantic love. sweet. celebrate right? i just hope that those people who go all out and above and beyond on valentines day aren’t trying to make up for not celebrating what they have the rest of the year. you love every day. i hope no one every uses one day devoted to celebrations rather than making someone feel loved because it’s a tuesday. serious.

snarky as it may seem upon first reading/hearing, valentines day is also national singles awareness day (allthough some celebrate it right before or after). the sad truth is that on that one day a year, our single status is pointed out to us relentlessly and it becomes hard to ignore. so, why not turn it into a holiday for itself right? just because i’m not half of another whole doesn’t mean that i don’t love. i love intentionally and with my whole heart, it just doesn’t happen to be directed at any one person who is my other half.

so, in what has now become an annual tradition a good friend of mine get all fancy and go out to fancy dinner on valentines day. not to mourn the fact that we’re single, but to celebrate that we are strong, confident women who don’t necessarily have to be part of a romantic relationship to celebrate the day.

i also need to just brag a little bit about my awesome dad-intine (get it… ’cause most little girls number 1 valentine is always their dad) who has never failed to send me flowers at work on NSA day to remind me that i’ll always be #1 daughter (even if i am the only one).

this one hits close to home

i try not to push my opinion on social/political/religious issues too far. really i just want this blog to give the reader an insight into the life of a late twenties, single, southern kid… well and maybe give you a chuckle once in a while. i’m no activist, but sometimes, some situations hit really close to home and i just can’t keep my damn mouth shut.

i waited tables (and bartended) for many years… almost half my life actually. waiting tables is a singular experience. for a small time you become friend, advisor, psychologist, responsible party, entertainer, subject matter expert, etc. to the people sitting in front of you. they may tell you more than you want to know or may become friends. either way, your job is to provide service. and you will do whatever (well, almost whatever) it takes to do this as effectively as possible ’cause hey… we like getting paid.

recently there has been a photo circling around that shows a receipt for a meal with an 18% included gratuity (an okay tip). the signee of the receipt marked out the tip, wrote “i give God 10% why do you get 18” and then proceeded to NOT tip at all.

now. don’t get me wrong. i am all for religious beliefs and the inheritant freedom that should come with those. i have my own beliefs and a very healthy respect for all others beliefs (or lack of belief). however this customer obviously has misplaced some ideas. i will explain (hopefully logically) why.

    1. it is absolutely ABSURD to compare a tithe (a tenth part of something paid as a voluntary contribution or as a tax especially for the support of a religious establishment… in this case, generally 10% of income for most churches is the expectation i understand) to payment for a service. if this person actually does tithe 10% on a regular basis, i am truly impressed. however, again, a tithe is a voluntary contribution in the sense of this situation. a tip is payment for a service. unfortunately there is no across the board standard for said service but you have to pay for work that’s performed for you. this is why we sell perky, friendly, and helpful like it’s going out of style.
    2. say, just say we DO accept that 10% for the God is ok, thus it must be good for your server as well. think about this: if you tithe as you “should” that means you are tipping 10% of your salary. by this same logic, does it not follow that if you tithe then that would mean your server gets 10% of your salary as well. trust me, any server would LOVE 10% of your salary. i’ll sign up to work in that restaurant any day.
    3. again, to point out the obvious differences between a personal relationship with a religious figure and a business relationship with a tipped employee, there is no way anyone should ever compare the two. it’s like comparing apples to spreading mulch. not even in the same realm of relationship. trust me, these two relationships would never show up on the comparrison part of the SATs.

had this customer commented on the service provided and stated that it was sub-par… that would be a horse of a different color. to me, it almost seems that the customer used his or her religion as an excuse not to tip. gee… wonder how the Big Guy (or Gal) would feel about that. to harm another human being in his/her name.

to all my servers out there: keep doing your thing. sell service with a smile. project your joy. and when something like this happens to you (unfortunately, it will. it’s happened to me many times) try and feel sorry for the person… and remember their face for the next time you see them and they want good service.

 

ok. rant over.

it’s all water under (and over… and around) the bridge right?

welcome to boone weather… where the rules are made up and the points don’t matter. really… they don’t. if you’ve never experienced the frustration at having to run your heat and air conditioning all in the same day or had an entire wardrobe in your car to deal with weather related clothing crises, you obviously haven’t lived in boone. you don’t like the weather here? wait 5 minutes, it’ll change. i’m not sure if this phenomenon is due to our location versus weather patterns or if we’re just lucky but eh. it’s boone. you embrace it and roll.

this week has been especially weird. monday night was the perfect night to ski (i should know… i was there). it was about 40* and the snow was only an eensy bit slushy (sigh… you can’t have powder and warm weather…). by the way, i’m trying to teach two of my friends to ski. they’re doing great. getting back on track… tuesday brought spring in a 24 hour jar. it was 65*, sunny, and amazing. it was january in boone. i was entirely jealous of all the people sleeping in hammocks outside. insanely jealous that i had to work. inside. oh well.

what’s a little rain right? of course, within our microcosm of spring we have to have the showers. WRONG. 6 inches of rain in 4 hours when the ground is already saturated? no. joke.

we kept hearing reports of roads closed, people being evacuated, emergency shelters. by the way… this is the mountains not some flat area of land where water collects. our flood water flows. so. i finally decide if i’m going to go home… i need to get on that. i’ve seen things flooded here before. but not like this. i have what i consider to be a pretty darn good car… it’s relatively high off the ground and has good tires so i thought there would be no problem for me to get home if i could just figure out how to get there.

you see, there are 3 ways to get to my house. the first way was closed so i turned around to try to go a different way. did you know that in the dark you can’t tell the difference between a couple of inches of water and over a foot? yeah. i made that dumbass move. have you ever seen a wall of water come towards your car? holy crap it’s really scary. i mean really. once i realized that i was in the middle of a river (not kidding… the water slowed my car down) i had to make one of those split second decisions that mean the difference between having a terrifying experience and winding up on television due to stupidity.

so. pedal down and keep going.

fortunately, i have an amazing car that has gotten me through a lot, including a river that normally runs underneath the road. for just a second, i wasn’t sure we (me and the green machine) were gonna make it, but we came out on the other side. lesson learned. i went the other way only to be stopped because someone else wasn’t as lucky as i and had to be rescued. finally, i made it home.

so bring on yet another weather change.  you know how wet stuff tends to freeze when it gets to a certain temperature? the flood froze. yesterday morning brought a winter wonderland with magical fluffy snow and frigid temperatures. and a layer of ice on my driveway that had me crawling down my drive way. this morning? 3-4 inches of snow and a bitchin cold wind.

there you have it kids. boone in a nutshell. a weeks worth of your average boone weather.