i suppose it’s time for me to admit a certain personality flaw of mine. i’m a judger. yes, i will make judgements based on what i know about you. no, those judgements won’t be based on what i’ve heard, but rather what i KNOW. i have tried to stop this rather obnoxious habit… but i just think it’s my nature. now, before you judge me as an irredeemable judger (see what i did there? eh?) there are a few things you need to know about my judgements.
just because i judge how i feel about a certain aspect of your youness doesn’t mean that i will fall along the lines of what others would feel. my brain works in very odd ways. nor does it mean that i will treat you any differently based on my judgement of you. one thing i’ve learned is that until you fight the same battle someone else has fought, your judgement does not dictate how you would react in the same situation.
second, i’m not a one-and-done judger. i will make judgements over and over, some of my judgements (whether positive or negative) will turn out to be accurate assessments of personality or character (or personal hygene… ahem…), others will be wrong. i’m not perfect, i’m not god. my opinions are my own and are subject to change.
also, know that i don’t make judgements lightly i live in a world where facts are the basis for all judgement and that means all the facts, not one or two tidbits here and there. however, facts and compassion must be balanced. to judge someone with no compassion is to treat them unfairly and just because i have made an assessment regarding someone doesn’t exclude mitigating circumstances or the fact that the person i judge is first and foremost a person.
finally, i will judge you based on your actions and the words that ocme out of your mouth. never think i would ever judge a person on any physical characteristic. our outsides don’t shape our insides. i will never walk the runways in milan, will never go down in history as a great beauty. so what right do i have to judge someone else on what i perceive their physical identity is?
i leave you with a quote. while i know i don’t follow it as well as i should, it’s always with me, posted right next to my front door.
Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
or stumbles along the road,
unless you have worn the shoes he wears
or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
though hidden away from view,
or the burden he bears, placed on your back
might cause you to stumble too.
Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
unless you have felt the blow
that caused his fall or felt the shame
that only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
that were his if dealt to you,
in the selfsame way, at the selfsame time,
might cause you to stagger too.
Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
or pelt him with word or stone,
unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
that you have no sins of your own –
for you know perhaps if the tempter’s voice
should whisper as softly to you
as it did to him when he went astray,
it might cause you to stumble too.